I'm Back. Sort Of.

I haven't been updating regularly--I know it sounds like a poor excuse, but I've been so busy just keeping up with kids, husband, and house that I haven't been wearing my writer hat as much as I would like to lately. I wouldn't trade any of it--well, except for my son getting pneumonia (which was just scary, but he's fine now) because it is just the rhythm of my life and I know that it will change, and someday, I will miss this.

I've printed out a strip of paper that says just that-- You're Gonna Miss This. This piece of paper is posted right above my desk where I can see it (and yes, I did get it from the Trace Adkins song, which I love) and be reminded that the kids won't always be so little and so busy. When I'm dragging my behind, drinking my fourth cup of coffee just to keep my eyes open because one or both of them somehow kept me from sleeping all night, and they are buzzing around the house like free radicals hell-bent on doing some kind of damage, I need reminders--believe me. They are wonderful, healthy, and energetic children who love me beyond what I can comprehend or deserve--how cool is that?

So if I don't post here regularly and the same picture has been languishing at the bottom of this blog for weeks, please don't assume I am just another lazy writer bad at regularly contributing to something (which I may be any and all of the above, just don't make assumptions--you know what they say about that, dahling.) Just know that I am being happily held captive by crayon murals and teddybear tea parties.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Today also happens to be my little girl's fifth birthday. We have lots of celebrating to do--but I had to officially post it here so she could read it for herself! Love you, sweetheart! Happy, happy, happy, birthday!

The little boy in my eyes

My son, who is two, discovered something yesterday. When the light in the dining room was just right as he was sitting on my lap, he saw his reflection in my eyes. At first, he looked very puzzled. I had to keep myself from laughing as he stared almost comically deep into my eyes, raising and lowering his eyebrows as he watched the little boy in his mommy's eyes mimic him. After about a minute of facial contortions he smiled, grabbed both of my cheeks, and gave me a squishy two-year-old kiss. Then he returned to gazing into my eyes and occasionally resting his forehead on mine.

I found myself praying for two things.

One, that this moment could last as long as possible. He is one of the busiest little boys I've ever met and any peaceful moment is truly a treasure with him.

And second, that someday, when he is having a crisis of faith, especially in himself, I can pull out this memory and tell him about the day he saw himself in my eyes. So that I can then tell him what I saw--a little boy who was so sweet and easygoing as a baby that I felt guilty because it felt "too easy". A little boy who is now so loving that he squeezes mine and his daddy's hearts so regularly that he and his sister alone could keep them beating without any assistance from our bodies. A little boy who thinks he is (or would very much like to be) Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride...I still can't have floor lamps in my living room because they resemble chandeliers and therefore must be swung from at every opportunity. A little boy who is so fearless that I will be gray by the time he is old enough to read this. A little boy so curious about the world around him that he explores constantly, endlessly, and with a passion and energy I didn't realize existed, even in toddlers.

I can only hope that when the time comes I can help him see through my eyes, not just into them.

Happy Fourth of July!

Just a quick note to wish everyone a happy and SAFE holiday--don't be the person who sets themselves on fire this year, m'kay? Let your idiot neighbor do it so you can point, laugh, and feel all smug and superior.

Seriously though, let's all pause for at least a second or two to remember that there are still some very fantastic things going for this country--things that all started with some strong-minded people who refused to back down from tyranny because they believed in freedom. Enjoy it.

Determination

Determined. Stubborn. Plucky. Spunky. Pig-headed. No, I am not trying out for a human thesaurus contest, I am trying to think of some of the labels given to people who refuse to give up on something, be it an idea, a dream, or a goal. The picture of the kitty clinging to his hoped-for box-lunch really struck a chord with me recently--writing is not an easy career to just pop into. But it is worth it, and that is the message you'll see over and over if you hang around enough writers--there isn't anything else they can imagine doing.

I write with two children in the home under the age of five and a brain that I don't mind admitting gives me fits on a regular basis. I am fortunate to have a very supportive spouse and family, but I know others who write in spite of people who tell them constantly that they're wasting their time. I know of many others who hold down full-time jobs, parent children, volunteer in their communities, (and I swear secretly save the world on their lunch breaks) who still find the time to write and do it well.

Why? It has to be due at least in part to determination--that stuff that makes the difference between, "I think I'll write a book someday" and "Here's my book! I think I'll try to get it published!" It's that stuff that keeps one submitting query after query when you believe in a story in spite of those form-letter rejections that we all know are a necessary evil and hate anyway.

I regularly get some fantastic glimpses of other writers' determination, (chutzpah, moxie, guts, whatever you wish to call it) at the Absolute Write Water Cooler ( http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/). It's a neat place to pop in, whether you're a writer or trying to understand the writer in your life, to see what exactly goes on in the trenches of writing. Need encouragement? Stop by the Coffee House of Pain and see if they don't offer you a cyber goodie or froo-froo drink to make it all better. I dare ya.

I'm such a bad blogger...

I don't post every day. I don't post wildly entertaining personal bits about what my dear husband said in bed the other day (he'd strangle me) , or what my kids are up to (they're two and four, wildly imaginative, and very energetic...I don't have time to blog about everything they do), and I believe my personal philosophy is best shared with people who know and understand me--I get fewer odd looks that way.

So why am I doing this?

I confessed at the beginning that I have the not-so-ulterior motive of using the blog when, or if, the writing gig takes off. Beyond that, I have enjoyed this little venture, looking for bits here and there to put up, finding little ways to express who I am at a level that I'm comfortable sharing. Oddly enough, I am a fairly private person. This feels daring to me, sharing thoughts with people I don't know and who don't know me (yeah, I know--woo freaking hoo, you wild thing you).

I've peeked at a variety of blogs lately and I'll admit, some of them scared me, more than any Stephen King I've ever picked up, with their level of personal information. Of course, these were just random blogs I found by hitting the "next blog" button, so they're not necessarily professionals looking for publishing fame, but yikes, man. Other blogs, some posted here and others posted on those blogs (I'm too lazy to throw up a link to every single blog I like, so I only put up the ones I actually read regularly) are professional, funny, and entertaining, but of course most of them are by or for writers. There is most definitely no shortage of blogs at present--but there are some very good ones out there if you're willing to wade through and find them.

I hope, at some point in the future, this one will be at least one of the entertaining ones, and not the 'yikes man' ones--if I could just manage to find a little more time in my day.

Just for fun...a writing exercise

I recently purchased a copy of Bonnie Neubauer's workbook of writing exercises (The Write Brain Workbook--366 exercises to liberate your writing) to aid in limbering up my occasionally cobwebby mind. I had a lot of fun with this one and I thought I would share.

"Animal Tendencies"

(I called it "A Sea Otter to be Reckoned With" my answers will appear in parentheses...you fill in your own)

The animal inside me wears _____________ (hip waders for afternoon tea.)

She lives in ________ (the ocean.)

And plays with _______________ ( a soccer ball she found floating one day.)

The animal inside me sings ____________ (off-color opera and old sailing dirges.)

She has a collection of ____________ (pearls, seashells, and flat beach balls.)

And revels in ___________ (the play of sunlight on water.)

The animal inside me loves _____________ (to feel like she is flying under water.)

She is waiting for _________ (nothing--she takes life as it comes.)

And wishes that _____________ (the world knew more about playing.)

And sometimes when no one is looking, the animal inside me _________ (puts on Groucho glasses and reads Shakespeare on the beach.)

I would love to hear some other answers to this one--don't be shy! Silly can be good for you, take it from the mother of two extremely silly, wonderful kids who remind me when I'm about to tear my hair out about something ridiculously "adult" that sometimes a little silly goes a long way.