Monday, July 7, 2008

The little boy in my eyes


My son, who is two, discovered something yesterday. When the light in the dining room was just right as he was sitting on my lap, he saw his reflection in my eyes. At first, he looked very puzzled. I had to keep myself from laughing as he stared almost comically deep into my eyes, raising and lowering his eyebrows as he watched the little boy in his mommy's eyes mimic him. After about a minute of facial contortions he smiled, grabbed both of my cheeks, and gave me a squishy two-year-old kiss. Then he returned to gazing into my eyes and occasionally resting his forehead on mine.


I found myself praying for two things.


One, that this moment could last as long as possible. He is one of the busiest little boys I've ever met and any peaceful moment is truly a treasure with him.


And second, that someday, when he is having a crisis of faith, especially in himself, I can pull out this memory and tell him about the day he saw himself in my eyes. So that I can then tell him what I saw--a little boy who was so sweet and easygoing as a baby that I felt guilty because it felt "too easy". A little boy who is now so loving that he squeezes mine and his daddy's hearts so regularly that he and his sister alone could keep them beating without any assistance from our bodies. A little boy who thinks he is (or would very much like to be) Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride...I still can't have floor lamps in my living room because they resemble chandeliers and therefore must be swung from at every opportunity. A little boy who is so fearless that I will be gray by the time he is old enough to read this. A little boy so curious about the world around him that he explores constantly, endlessly, and with a passion and energy I didn't realize existed, even in toddlers.
I can only hope that when the time comes I can help him see through my eyes, not just into them.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm totally crying here. As the mama of a two-year-old boy, who is very much like yours, I am just touched beyond belief. (Having a hard time typing in fact.) Your words are so true, and I know...deeply to my core...what you're talking about. It's rare that I actually print things out from the Web, and sure, I could just bookmark it, but this is one to print out, put in my journal so that in however many months or years it is from now, that I have your words to rely on to help me help him through something, I can have it physically in my hands.

That was beautiful. Beyond beautiful in fact. You could not have said this better and I (and I'm sure many other mamas of twos who's come to read this) thank you for putting it into words.

Anonymous said...

I think I just fell in love with your boy. He sounds great! :)